“One man all by himself is nothing, two people who belong together make a world”. There can be no better way to express the beauty of a relationship than this statement by Hans Margolius. The magic of relationship is that it makes you see a changed world around you, while the fact is that it is you who has changed, experiencing a newfound feeling of love, care and a sense of emotional achievement.
It certainly feels great to know that you are loved. Your personal world is painted with rainbow colors. But remember these colors come through a glass prism which is delicate and fragile and so is a relationship.
A relationship is either an outcome of a deliberate choice to have one or at times we naturally develop one with someone after knowing them over a period of time. Getting into a deliberate relationship with a person of choice will of course require some endeavor and social finesse. But whatever may be the genesis of a relationship, it takes effort to keep the sailing smooth. This may sound like your strenuous office job. Well, it will definitely be cumbersome if the initiatives to keep it going are one sided. But if the desire to keep the love alive and growing is mutual, efforts become enjoyment and rituals become romance.
But the question that comes to mind is why do we long for a relationship? Is it for a sense of security, a sense of worth, to fill a void or simply to have fun while it lasts? But a fun relationship for a fancy is called a fling. A true relationship gives you a chance to be yourself and still be loved or rather be loved for the person you are. Each one of us has emotional, physical and romantic needs. With age these needs become real and mature and we are no longer looking for puppy love in our lives. We are past high school infatuations and college crushes. There is a need for a strong and assuring relationship to fall back upon.
When a relationship is much needed and longed for, why is it still difficult to find a partner? You are attractive, intelligent and outgoing but single. Who and what is responsible for your solitary status? It could be that your expectations of a partner are too high and unrealistic or your expectations from the relationship are unreasonable. Our search or wait for that Mr. or Ms. Perfect is vain. There are less than ten Mr. and Ms. Perfects in this world and the probability of missing him or her is extremely high.
Ferenc Santa rightly said, “Every man has his faults. It all depends on whether he has enough good qualities to counter balance them.” In our imperfect world, it is important to set our priorities right. We cannot tailor make a person’s physical attributes, intelligence or temperament according to our fancy and label him our partner. You need to be clear of what you specifically want in your partner and what you can let go. Two people cannot be same but their differences must become enjoyable for a lasting relationship.
But there could be an invisible barrier to a relationship when unknowingly your body language sends all the wrong signals. Intrinsically you may desire for an evening at the beach with your loved one but your external behavior draws people away from you. It could be due to a latent sense of being unsure about yourself or your distrust towards others which you heaped from past experiences. These may not be mentally acknowledged by you but shows in your conduct. However, this does not imply that you turn into a womanizer or seductress to send the right signals. It only requires you to be yourself, give yourself a chance and be more open and candid with others while maintaining your dignity and integrity of character at all times.
There is a strange irony in relationships though. We get into a relationship with someone to give and get love but the moment the relationship is acknowledged and solemnized, love begins to disappear somewhere. This happens because we not only start taking our partner for granted but also wish to dominate him or her. When the element of possession enters, human being is reduced to a thing. Osho explains that we can love our sculptures, gardens, paintings, dogs and cats but loving a human being is difficult. A sculpture or a dog does not speak, refuse, claim or criticize anything. We have a monologue with them. But not so with a human being, for he is Consciousness. He thinks, feels and lives.
Indeed when two Conscious beings come together, to share their love with each other, it must create a symphony of paradise. But sadly more often than not, this togetherness leads to vociferous clamoring. This is because both made pretentious promises to GIVE love while secretly desired only to GET love. When the wall of pretensions breaks down, debris is the only thing that remains in hand.
Why are our present day relationships so weak and brittle? Commitments intimidate us. The word “commitment” is scary. Neale Donald Walsch says there have to be no commitments in a relationship. A relationship is not so much a responsibility as is an opportunity to grow rich together internally and experience our highest potential to love. All of us are busy and happy in our own lives, families and careers but we still look for somebody to share our joys because happiness was born a twin. Our highest Consciousness comes awakened when we learn and live the one and only lesson of love and that is,
“Love is not something to get,Love is something to give.”
Osho
A relationship is your chance to live your highest self and share with someone the most beautiful legacy we received from God – the gift of Love. The fragrance of love will spread with the melting of your ego. When a relationship is entered for the wrong reasons, it cannot go right but when a relationship is formed for the right reasons, there can be nothing more enchanting than it.
